The Forgotten Tool

Nowadays men's hair care is given more attention than in the past.  It may not look it though, given all the 'messy' and 'bed-head' hairdos.  Shoot, look at that mop-headed boy Justin Bieber.  His entire career was launched by that bouffant atop his head.  Ridiculous. 

Conversely, there was tool in the days of yore every gentleman possessed that has since been forgotten - the comb.  

A fine gentleman's tool.

Unfortunately, the generation now appears unable to grasp the ample benefits the comb provides.  Parting the hair just so, no rogue strand sticking up.  Using it to evenly spread the right amount of pomade.  Ah, what a treat.

Clark Gable - no stranger of the comb

It was preposterous for a man to use a brush in my day.  That was a tool designated for women.  A  brush couldn't be carried in your back pocket.  Only a comb could, thus part of it's appeal.

Remember the comb - a true American gentleman's tool.  Hold to it with vigor.

Ode to Mr. Tony

There are few things and even fewer people that grab my attention.  Look, I'm old.  If it requires effort or time, I'm not doing it.  Those are two commodities that in which I don't have a surplus.  Some people don't understand this concept whatsoever, but there is one I felt who did - Tony Kornheiser, a.k.a. Mr Tony.

Now, some of you may have no idea of Mr. Tony is and some of you may know he's the old fart on Pardon the Interruption ("PTI").  Others may know him as the former cranky windbag on Monday Night Football who got kicked to the curb after only one season.  Whatever the case, I don't care.  I like him, and that's all that matters.

And Mr. Tony expresses that same self-centered sentiment on his DC radio show.  Movies, local news, and even the weather forecast are discussed as they pertain to Mr. Tony.  Major thunderstorms predicted in DC?  No concerns about flooding, but will he still be able to play golf.  Latest comic book movie?  Doesn't care about that utter garbage.  Latest news story involving chimps and monkeys?  Now THAT he likes!  Who doesn't!? 

Unfortunately, his contract with the radio station limits the number shows he can do.  He is reaching that mark, so he is off air this week (more about that here).  It can't be!  Who impressed him at the GOP debates?  How can he tell everybody Lebron James choked like a gagging dog?  Or give praise to Jason Kidd's decaying carcass?  Who does he have winning the US Open?  I need to hear him on his topics.

I want him back.  My attention awaits.

- OMP

Welcome... But Not Really

I know what you're thinking:  Really?  A blog?  From an old man?  I had that exact same thought.

That's when it hit me.  Blogs have really spanned generations.  Cavemen inked caves to document their lives.  Romans used papyrus.  Pilgrims used parchment.  Secretaries used typewriters.  See? 

Looking back, my first blog post was back in the 3rd grade, Mrs. Youngworth's class.  I wrote a note to Ethel McGee about the high quality trousers my Aunt Binona made.  Mrs. Youngworth intercepted the note and posted it on the chalkboard so everybody could see.  She was trying to make an example of me, but I was proud of my work, my first post in essence.

Now we've progressed.  We have computers and the interwebs.  I've rolled with the times too - I now dictate my thoughts and then Birget, my Swedish housekeeper, types them into the computer so you can read.

I know you'll enjoy.  If a bunch of hen-clucking housewives can blog, I can do it a hundred times better.

- OMP