The 4th of July may be my favorite holiday. Not only are fireworks are legal, they're highly encouraged. You can't drive a block without seeing a tent offering 2-for-1 or 3-for-1. It's basically Christmas for legalized small explosives. Plus, I can restock my cat hunting arsenal with bottle rockets and Roman candles.
Obviously, the 4th commemorates the day when the United States of America announced its freedom from England. Along those same lines, I thought this year we, as true Americans, need to declare our independence from the following:
- President Obama
- Skim milk
- Jay Leno
- Smart cars
- Debt to China
- Yogurt
- Hairdryers
- V-neck t-shirts
- Keith Olbermann
- MSNBC
Join me my fellow countrymen. What would you want to declare independence from?
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